stop.

For the millionth time, I can hear my conscience yelling at me.
Stop it. Don't you see what you're doing?

Yes. I see. I know.
Apparently, my self doesn't believe me, though, and it keeps shouting at me.
I don't enjoy the inner struggle between out and in.

This isn't an emergency. I've put up with things for so long. Isn't that part of love? Coping with things that people do because you care about them? Sucking it up because you don't want to lose them?
... But isn't part of growing up learning to cope with loss, and to accept that some things will never change? That some things are just the way that they are, and some people just do things the way that they do them?

Love is patient, love is kind...
Don't let yourself be trampled on.
Love endures all things.
Fooled me once, shame on you. Fooled me twice, shame on me.
In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.
Some people never change.

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

I'm better off not thinking too in-depth. There are too many old sayings that run through my head, back and forth, chasing each other with knives. There are too many sayings that completely contradict each other, that will never, ever be in agreement.
Is there a set point where it's okay for patience to run out? Is there a set point where patience pays off? And if the answer to both of these questions is no, then how did any of those sayings ever do anyone any good?


And by the way, regardless of everything, I miss you.


Stop.