The car rushed through the left turn a little too fast for me to feel completely comfortable. We came close to another car, and I wondered - if we continued to veer left, to collide with that other mass of metal, would that be enough to send a jolt through me? Would that be enough to rid me of the numbness that was absorbing me?
The thought flitted away as we continued down my road in silence. Shut up, you're being over dramatic.
It seemed like he was still driving a little fast, but just as I was about to say something, he corrected his speed. 25 through the residential area.
The needle seemed to be held there by a magnet.
As we came through the last major bend in the road, another train of thought poured itself over me. What if I were to grab the wheel, force his leg down on the gas for a few seconds, and throw us over the edge of the miniature precipice? What would it be like for my neck to snap backwards, for the back of my head to touch my spine, for my soul to release itself out of its shell?
Why do I seem so eager to die tonight? Because of a little argument? Well, that's stupid...
The car pulled into my driveway. He touched my hand, and all I wanted to do was run inside my house and hide away. He had apologized before we were the whole way home, but that didn't matter much. I'd already forgiven him.
One hand in his, the other on the door handle, I was frozen.
And here, in my room, listening to soft piano music, I feel as though I've realized for the first time, for the hundredth time, that I've been frozen in this position for entirely too long.
I leave, and he reminds me why I fought for him so desperately.
I stay, and he shows me why I left to begin with.
I can't deny to anyone that there are places that I want to go.
Once place in particular.
The thought flitted away as we continued down my road in silence. Shut up, you're being over dramatic.
It seemed like he was still driving a little fast, but just as I was about to say something, he corrected his speed. 25 through the residential area.
The needle seemed to be held there by a magnet.
As we came through the last major bend in the road, another train of thought poured itself over me. What if I were to grab the wheel, force his leg down on the gas for a few seconds, and throw us over the edge of the miniature precipice? What would it be like for my neck to snap backwards, for the back of my head to touch my spine, for my soul to release itself out of its shell?
Why do I seem so eager to die tonight? Because of a little argument? Well, that's stupid...
The car pulled into my driveway. He touched my hand, and all I wanted to do was run inside my house and hide away. He had apologized before we were the whole way home, but that didn't matter much. I'd already forgiven him.
One hand in his, the other on the door handle, I was frozen.
And here, in my room, listening to soft piano music, I feel as though I've realized for the first time, for the hundredth time, that I've been frozen in this position for entirely too long.
I leave, and he reminds me why I fought for him so desperately.
I stay, and he shows me why I left to begin with.
I can't deny to anyone that there are places that I want to go.
Once place in particular.
1 comment:
we will.
sunday.
if that day is okay with you.
=]
i just need your addy again, cause i'm lame and forgot.
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